Kung Fu Panda 2 and the issue of transracial adoption

Ok, so this is a little tongue in cheek, but I realize that everything my daughter sees since we are a transracial family may be viewed differently. So, if you have not seen the film, the second one starts with Po, a panda, having a dream or vision of being left by his panda mother and he wakes up disturbed and upset.  This really hits home for me, because it is common for the girls in China to be "abandoned" by the women because of the one child policy and culture of the importance of boys.  Maya has already asked about getting in touch with her birthmom.  With great difficulty I had to tell her that we don't have information about her birthmom; but that she loved Maya so much that she was found with a note pinned on her of her birthdate and she was six weeks old so her mother loved and took care of her for six weeks and made sure she was put in a place that she would be found.  So, Po, the panda, like all of our kids has some cellular memory of their birthmom and of the time of "abandonment."  We, as parents need to remember and acknowledge this.  The movie then goes to a scene with Po and his father--who is a goose.  Po directly asks "Where did I come from?"  And here the father stumbles when saying the word "adopted."  This is an issue for me.  First, Po, or any other child should not be at an age where the "discover" they are adopted.  It should be something they always know.  And as parents, it is our responsibility to practice or do what we need to do so we don't stumble around the word adoption.  It is how our children came to us, it not their only definition.  Aso, Po a ginormous panda does not look anything like his father--a goose.  It is unrealistic to think a) he would not notice until he was an adult or b) no one else would not notice nor make a comment.  I was not back from China for a couple of days when in the playground and people would ask "where did she come from?" "is she yours" "is she Chinese" or any other many variations of the questions we all get when we are a transracial family.  Even when Po "confesses" to Tigress that he found out something big that changes his life and says he was adopted, she says sarcastically (although it goes right passed Po)--"you just figured that out?"  So, our children know from early on that they look different than us.  Did Po's father really think Po would never "find out" he was adopted, like adoption is something bad.  I find this frustrating and misleading.  Kids who are adopted show no signficant issues around self esteem when raised being able to talk about adoption.  It is only a part of who they are, it is not their only self definition.  Having it be such a hidden fact in Kung Fu Panda keeps this myth alive--that raising a biological child is the saame as raising a child in a transracial family.  It is not the same.  There are issues we need to address--feelings around the loss of the birth mother/family especially if there is no contact or information, issues of different race and culture and teaching our child skills and information to navigate in different races and cultures, and in races different from our own.  It is something we need to be thoughtful and proactive about.  Po has to push his father to tell him the story of his adoption.  Again, he should never have had to ask.  Our children need to know their story from the beginning and they should always feel comfortable asking us about their story or any questions they have around adoption.  If they can't come to us, who do they go to?

Then Mr. Ping--Po's father asks Po as he is leaving to fight the dragon warrior "You are still my son, right?"  Po doesn't answer.  This is also normal for many kids who are adopted and as parents we cannot personalize this, however hard that may be.  It is a normal part of development--especially in young adults to search, question, and perhaps even leave their adopted family or adopted race and go to their own race and be with people who look like them. 

One of the lines in the movie to which I really took exception is when the Peacock--the "evil" character says to Po; "I watched while your parents abandoned you."  That one sentence packs a lot of punch and was thoughtlessly written by someone who clearly does not know anything about adoption.  That is very hurtful to a child who either was actually abandoned or feels abandoned.  Shame on dreamworks for allowing that line and sentiment to be in the movie.

Po continues his journey and quest for inner peace around his adoption.  Finally he returns to his father after his search.  Although he does not get all his questions answered, and probably neither will all of our children, Po says to his father "I know who I am."  His father says "You do?" and Po says "I am your son."  This is the goal of our parenting for our children.  For them to know they are our children.  We know it from the beginning and each child will have a different journey, but the ideal is to have them feel that they are "ours" no matter how they came to us.  We are all families.